Dear Housemate #2

**Note: Now living with six other people in a student house, housemates have been assigned numbers. Alphabetically by first name, the numbers one to seven have been assigned. I am Housemate #3.

Dear Housemate #2,

I miss my pets.

It's extremely unnerving to sleep in a house without a dog for the first time in nearly 22 years. I always knew they made me feel safer. Even if they were the friendliest dogs in the world, it was always a comfort to hear them bark or growl if somebody was near the house who shouldn't be there.

You, however, are often quite frightening. Anger issues? Maybe. Attitude? Most definitely.
Additionally, you sleep in just about the same proximity to me as my dogs did at home. About a meter and a half above me, and a couple meters over. Now, if you'd just start growling in your sleep when you have a dream, that'd be great. Really make me feel at home here.

The cat thing, well, as much as I wouldn't mind certain people sleeping on my face, trying to suffocate me... probably not the best idea. I think you'd agree. Besides, Housemate #7 is much more cat-like anyway.

Thank you for making me feel welcome yesterday, as I'm sure you will continue to do.

Love,
Housemate #3

From South Park: Big Gay Al's Big Gay House