Dear Bus People

Dear people on the bus who comment on my “faux”hawk like I can’t hear you,

I can hear you.

Kind Regards from that girl with the hair on the bus,
Peat

Dear Shoe-Commentors

Dear friends who comment on my shoes,

Yes, I have a history of keeping (and wearing) my shoes for years longer than I ought to. I use tape and crazy glue to hold them together to avoid shopping for shoes.  This stems from years of being overweight and having feet so large that it was difficult to find shoes that fit.
I bought a new pair for $5.50. You might be proud.

Laceless and loving it,
Peat

Dear History Guy

Dear Guy in my History Class,

If I sit on the exact opposite side of the lecture hall from you, maybe you should take the hint that I just need to be alone.  Respect that, and don’t be a puppy and follow me everywhere.  It gets old.  I’ll see you next class, when we will mock the flapper documentary.

Sincerely,
Peat

Dear Friends With Scurvy

Dear friends who don’t eat vegetables,

Please don’t complain to me about your vitamin/mineral deficiencies as you pick the lettuce and tomatoes off your sandwich.
Don’t order a salad, take a few bites which you choke down and then ask me if I’M happy because you ate salad. I don’t care.
Yes, I will eat your veggies, provided you don’t push them onto my plate with utensils which have already been in your mouth.

Yours truly,
Peat

Dear Family Member...

Dear family member who keeps using my toothpaste,

Please squeeze from the bottom of the tube. It may seem like a ridiculous request to you, but I would very much appreciate it.
If you cannot find it in your heart to grant me this favour, please just leave my toothpaste alone. I brush my teeth in that bathroom for a reason; nobody else usually does. I don’t want to share my tube of toothpaste with you, anyway.
Let us try to get along, as family members must.

Best Wishes,
Your OCD Daughter/Sister/Aunt