Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dear Canadian History

Dear Canadian History,

*gunshots* You are more dead to me than Pierre LaPorte at the culmination of the FLQ Crisis. You didn't stand a chance of pulling a James Cross and escaping your demise. I have gladly resolved you, unlike the Meech Lake Accord. I am happier to be done with you than a young woman was to meet Pierre Trudeau at the height of his popularity in the 1970's (oh, Trudeaumania). Thou art of no more significance to me that Sif John A. MacDonald's National Policy which failed in its attempt to foster a national identity by finishing a railway and introducing more foreigners to
Canada. Studying for your exam was more tedious than listening to radical feminists bitch about the dysfunctional system rather than trying to fix the existing one. You are more pointless than Japanese internment camps (and not quite equally infuriating). You are more exasperating than the institutionalization of racism and calssism as a result of the ammendments to the Immigration Act in 1906 and 1910 by Frank Oliver just because he didn't like Clifford Sifton. At times, you were as amusing as Cold War antics such as blaming gays and Jews for the spread of Communism while breeding a generation that would only rebel against the system in the following decades.
I am glad to be done with you.

Goodbye/Salut (because this is a bilingual nation),
Peat

P.S. ... also pwned. I had an answer prepared for every question you threw at me, bitch.

P.P.S. Yeah, two in one day. Lucky, readers :)


2 comments:

davey. said...

too much history for me. BUT... FLQ!!!

also, if i were placed in a japanese internment camp, you would come visit me right? and send me lovely packages? i need a go-to person if it ever happens.

Toddski said...

I would NOT visit you, Enzo. But, that is not a mean comment. What I mean, is that I would be forced to do much more. I would have to find a way out for you. You are one of the most Canadian people I know! There is no way they could justify keeping you in an internment camp. If they tried, I would bust you out. If that failed, I would not visit you, but move in.